It's tempting to start to make a list of goals or think about who we want to become before actually celebrating who we are and what went well for us last year.
Why is this important?
Once you realize what went well for you, you can bring that knowledge to your life with a purpose from your heart. Because contentment and happiness in life are related to the savoring of those positive moments and creating more.
And you can generate joyful instants every day in your life consciously. Every single day. Even when everything seems to bring only concerns, take a 5 minutes break. Enjoy your favorite cup of coffee or tea. Drink it mindfully, feeling the warmth, savoring the flavor, smelling it with intention, and appreciating the senses in your body that allow you to do all of that. If that's not for you, read a book that you enjoy or savor that shower before you go to bed. Doing nothing is as well, so good! Without denying the feelings generated from daily concerns, we can, at the same time, deliberately create small bubbles of contentment and joy. When we come back to our everyday life, we may have a broader perspective and see more possibilities!
Last year brought me so many beautiful things. Some I created, some were brought to me as a present from life, from others, from love.
I learned that:
-Creating good moments by planning a pleasant activity with my family and friends is great!
Once a week, something enjoyable is planned for me and my family and/or friends. I have so much fun with it!
-Forgiveness is an act of love for oneself.
To forgive is not a selfless act. Forgiveness is not about pleasing the other person and taking weight out of their shoulder. Forgiving is not about forgetting what was made or said.
Forgiveness is an act of love for oneself because it gives me so much inner peace and strength.
When I remember in a compulsive way what someone made to me, when I ruminate the feeling of injustice, I create inside of me resentment. I promote anger or frustration. While, when I can forgive, I feel at peace.
At the same time, I realized that forgiving is a step-by-step process. Not easy, and it takes time. Sometimes days, months, or years. But, once I am open to forgiving someone or myself, I know that I want to stop the rumination thoughts that bring me not more than a full hand of anger and a waste of energy. And one day, the act of forgiving will arrive, when I feel prepared to do so.
-Compassion is a way of self-care. Compassion is a way of taking care of others. Compassion is connection.
I learned that inner compassion, the one I send to myself, can release me more and more from the harsh inner critic, comparison with others or the feeling of personal shame. I welcome openly and learn much more with unpleasant feelings than before. For instance, I discovered some fears that were blocking me personally and professionally. Mindfulness helped me to be aware of them. And only when we are aware of something, we can learn from it, and we can change it. Compassion helped me to relate to those fears with a much more open heart and understanding. They are still in me, but the relationship I have with my fears changed. I don't see them as a threat anymore. I am not frozen and blocked so much by those fears. Actually, I am being sometimes guided by them as I go towards the things I am afraid of. I am listening to my fears as they "tell" me what is blocking me from being free. Supported by my own compassion, I can overcome step-by-step my fears, go out of my comfort zone, and feel free and more confident.
Compassion connects me with others in such an intimate way as we realize we all are humans, we all feel the human array of emotions and feelings, we all have fears, we all make mistakes, one way or another. As Brene Brown says: “Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
-Silence is precious sometimes.
Silence is a way of deep listening. Holding the space to a person with the generous support of deep listening without saying a word is precious. Because sometimes the person in front of us can find the answers for their own struggle without any advice shared, with me just listening to them.
As a mindful pause, silence brings me to another level of consciousness. I have the power to mindfully realize what I am feeling, sensing the other person's feelings, going from empathy to compassion for myself and the one in front of me. It takes me from a reactive action, from saying and doing what I might regret, to responding what I think is the best at that moment.
-Create the possibilities for your dreams to come true!
I had the dream to study mindfulness with Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. I WAS THRILLED when I knew they teach the mindfulness meditation certified teacher program!
As soon I realized that to be accepted into the course, I had to be evaluated through a questionnaire and a reference letter, my dream just vanished with my inner critic saying: you will not be accepted. But my heart told me to try and I followed it. And with the support of my husband, my yoga teacher, Carry Helfenstein, and my mindfulness practice, I could receive the green sign. I am studying now with these outstanding teachers, and I am so happy!
I created the possibility, and the dream came true!
-To be more grateful.
Life is happening every single moment we breathe. And I am so grateful for the persons who supported me throughout the year: my husband, my sons, my mother, my family, my friends, my yoga teacher Carry, my peers in the mindfulness course and coaching, my mentor, persons that quickly crossed my life. The sense of community supported me in so many ways.
I am grateful for the challenges and the presents life gave to me, allowing me to evolve and develop or discover more strengths. I am thankful for the life I have.
These are some things that went well for me last year.
I am enthusiastic about what this year will bring to me and what I will create each day. I feel the urge to paint my life with all colors, even with those not usually my favorites. Let's make a life full of color!
How about you? What went well in your life?
I invite you to think about it. Take a time just for you, preferably without screens and devices around, to be undisturbed. Writing by hand slows you down to reflect a little more on your answers, but of course, every one of us is different. So, if it's working better for you to record your voice, why not?
Make notes about your personal celebrations related to:
-hard lessons learned through your experience,
-a routine that you incorporated into your life and makes you feel good,
-good moments in your everyday life, like savoring that coffee or going for a walk in the park,-places you loved to visit,
-activities you enjoyed engaging with,
-unique moments of joy,
-persons you enjoyed spending time with,
-your strengths, which you are delighted to use at work and in your personal life.
Thank you for reading!
I invite you to share in the comments about what went well for you last year and celebrate with the Inspira community your personal findings! You can also use my email: patriciakromercoach@gmail.com. If you have any questions please contact me, I will be pleased to support you. Thank you!
Gratefully,
Patricia Kromer
